Grandad "Russ"

With all of the snow, we knew a time would come when it would start to melt. This meant that, the first nice day, it was a good idea to knock some of that snow off of the roof. Sunday was just such a day. Russ decided to not wait for John and climbed up on his roof. He died up there.

I try to comfort myself in knowing that it was a beautiful, sunny day. He would have died with the sun kissing his skin. Unfortunately, I can only think that he died alone, being so mule-headed and not waiting for his son to help with the chore.

A few days have gone by. It's now Thursday. We had his viewing yesterday and his funeral today. I was torn. On one hand, I was sad as he has left us behind. On the other, I felt guilty with each laugh, hug and smile. It was nice to see many of Russ' siblings. They're all getting "up there" in age, and many are in very poor health. It feels like you're dishonoring the dead when you smile in encouragement at another family member as they slowly walk by, each step a small victory against old age and arthritis.

It was Tia's first Funeral and Wake. Shayne even attended the funeral. Dave went to the viewing. My aunts all behaved themselves. Gram Surrena went to the funeral.

I'm still having a few emotional outbursts. I'll just start thinking about his being alone, Pat's being alone, that kinda stuff. So, it'll make me sad and I'll start to cry. Then, I move on.

I'm just sad he never got to meet Amelia. When I had first heard he'd had a heart attack, I thought, we'll get Amelia and go to the hospital. We'll get some pics of him with her so she'll at least have those of her Great-Grandfather. Unfortunately, it was too late for all of that.

If nothing else, his death is to teach me to quit putting off the important stuff. To suck up my pride, to just do IT. Be humble. Quit being lazy. All that jazz.